September 25, 2008

past and future

I spoke at a retreat this past weekend, which is the second year in a row.  It was an awesome weekend.  

After spending the weekend there, I have looked back over the past year and feel like there has been a night and day change in Speaking the Words of God.  I say that because I feel like I am able to follow God's leads a little easier while I am speaking.  As I look at last year when I started, I was so nervous about going from speaking as a "part" of my job to speaking "being" my job.  I needed to be really good to make it.

I can look back and see the need that I had to be so on line and following my notes, that it kept me from listening as much to God because of my need to check every note that I had.  It is funny because when I first started preaching, I would write down 5-6 words that meant something and go off of that.  As the years went on, I added more and more notes, and made it a little more jumbled in my head.  I think the added pressure of speaking and being good, made me go even more off the deep end. 

I can see over several times of speaking how listening to God and waiting for him has changed anywhere from part of what I was going to say to all of what I was going to say.  I have had times when I was not going to say anything about a certain topic because of all the background to it, you know, not touching something with a ten foot pole, to God leading me to address it and seeing some healing take place.  

I say this not to pat myself on the back and say look at me, but to say, "look how God is good and can lead us and make us better."  Sometimes we need to look back, not to see all the mistakes and mishaps that we have been through in particular, but to see where God is taking us.  

I am excited to see how much I have changed and following God just a little bit closer, and really pumped to see what God is going to do this week, month, and year.

and that is all He wanted me to say,

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