August 4, 2008

Where is God going?

Have you ever wondered about where God is leading you?  You have prayed and prayed, and still wondered?

I have been in a quandary here lately.  As I have written before, and maybe not enough, since I think and pray about it alot, is where God is calling me to now.  I have been following God the only way I know how, with everything that I have, and I wonder if he is telling me to turn in a new direction.  I am returning to the thoughts on being a Youth Pastor.  I have continued to think about it.  I have since talked with the Pastor, and he was "hesitant" to get together with me a week and a half ago because of the "brute honesty" that I had shared with him.  I do not regret that conversation at all.  I expressed fears and joys of ministry and working in a church verses volunteering, me traveling to different churches to being in the same place.  His hesitancy was based on our conversation, which I think is great.  He was listening and taking in what I was saying.  

My problem now is, I have grown in ways that I did not even know myself in the last couple of years.  There are things that I have overcome, and others as I look into my past, was never the issue.  I have been able to look at past "failures" and realize they weren't.  There were many circumstances, and what I thought I lacked, I might not.

I am in no way saying that things were rosy in the past, that I did not make mistakes.  I have made mistakes, but they may have been a little different than what I thought they were at the time.

I still have no complete thought on where God is calling me, but some of God's word has been a part of my life since my ministry began (just a few years ago, ha ha) that hit at the heart of who I am, and what I am called to be.  Where is sending me is exactly where God is going.  I just want to follow him where ever that is.

Numbers 9:15-23
On the day the tabernacle, the Tent of the Testimony, was set up, the cloud covered it. From evening till morning the cloud above the tabernacle looked like fire.  That is how it continued to be; the cloud covered it, and at night it looked like fire.  Whenever the cloud lifted from above the Tent, the Israelites set out; wherever the cloud settled, the Israelites encamped.  At the LORD’s command the Israelites set out, and at his command they encamped. As long as the cloud stayed over the tabernacle, they remained in camp.  When the cloud remained over the tabernacle a long time, the Israelites obeyed the LORD’s order and did not set out.  Sometimes the cloud was over the tabernacle only a few days; at the LORD’s command they would encamp, and then at his command they would set out.  Sometimes the cloud stayed only from evening till morning, and when it lifted in the morning, they set out. Whether by day or by night, whenever the cloud lifted, they set out.  Whether the cloud stayed over the tabernacle for two days or a month or a year, the Israelites would remain in camp and not set out; but when it lifted, they would set out.  At the LORD’s command they encamped, and at the LORD’s command they set out. They obeyed the LORD’s order, in accordance with his command through Moses. 

I am praying for myself that I can see the "Cloud of God" and where it is at.  I ask that you continue to pray in the same way for my family and I.  

If you are wondering about the same things, you can either leave a comment and let me know how I can pray for you, or you can leave a comment to encourage and up lift me.  I would much appreciate that.

Until next time,


sean. said...

That cloud looks like Pacman!

Ben said...

I totally know where you're coming from with this post, as well. I think Gina and I will end up feeling that way for the next ten years or so. We have this plan for us to both get PhDs and be professors, but it takes so much time and energy that I feel like we constantly need to ask God if it's still the right plan for us. It costs too much to be wrong. Anyhow, we'll keep praying for you.

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